It never ceases to amaze me. I log onto Facebook thinking I’m going to have the ultimate Facebook experience, but instead I end up feeling like I’m on an episode of Punk’d. The crazy thing about it is that it has become the norm on Facebook to be obnoxious, bipolar or just weird. I am certain that a lot of people don’t realize that they are being annoying because they don’t have the slightest idea how to engage socially. This is where I come in. I don’t profess to be an expert, but I’m a people person and I know people pretty well. Therefore, I have come up with a few cardinal sins that no one should attempt to commit on Facebook. Why? Because I said so, duh! No, really, it just makes you appear socially awkward and will probably scare away your Facebook friends if you do these things. If you can try to steer clear of these social networking blunders, people will probably try not to avoid you when they see you on the street. Here goes:
1) Facebook “poking” is considered subtle flirting. Poking has become one of those tabs that is overused. Go easy on the pokes!
2) Facebook Addiction Syndrome relates to anyone who is unable to log off of Facebook. They literally stay on Facebook all day and all night. If you are this person, join your local support group fast because there are bound to be thousands of others just like ya, bruh. How do you know you have a problem? You continually stay watching updates on your phone ALL FREAKING DAY! Don’t be surprised if you see me in there!
3) Facebook Attention Whores are just that, attention seekers, but on Facebook! They crave attention and Facebook is their platform so they use it to the umpteenth power! They tend to share wayyyy too much information about themselves and their lives on Facebook. They don’t realize that they are inviting all the judgments and criticisms that follow. If this is you, you probably think its cute, but it’s just plain annoying. You might want to try acting classes if you need an outlet to display your drama because you clearly missed your calling!
4) Facebook affairs/cheating start when someone is cheating on their boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife on Facebook with inappropriate inboxes and messages. They start tagging each other in certain posts and commenting on each others’ pages. You know its not right, but you do it anyway and eventually you exchange telephone numbers. That’s when the normal cheating starts until your significant other finds out and blasts your stupid behinds on Facebook! By this time, half of your Facebook friends had already peeped it with all the inappropriate tags and what not!
5) Facebook Dick Rider is one who always seems to comment on someone’s Facebook statuses, photos, or post. They are freaking relentless! It never fails! I counted my posts in one week and noticed that the same person commented each time I posted! Not only is it creepy, it’s just weird! If you do this, stop it right now! One person’s posts can’t be that dang good to you!
6) Facebook Drama Queen is the same as a Facebook Attention Whore.
7) Facebook Papparazzi are people who are constantly taking pictures to post on their Facebook pages. They don’t care how you look because they will always be ready! They do it as an attempt to make their life look more fun or interesting, but in real life they are far from Angelina and Brad!
8) Facebook hickey happens typically when a female makes her presence known on her significant other’s page to discourage lurking hopefuls from trying to get to them. It doesn’t work. Their inbox still works. See Facebook Affairs.
9) The Facebook Faker is a person that appears super hot in their Facebook pics, but in real life is not so attractive! This is usually a catfish situation, but that aint none of my business!
10) Facebook Gamers send game requests all day!!!! It’s the most annoying thing on Facebook. You reject one, and ten more come just like it! It’s a Facebook cancer that won’t disappear. It has gotten to the point where I have nightmares about Candy Crush. If you’re a Facebook Gamer, get a life! Some of us hate it and we are trying to be nice about it!
Well, there are more. Maybe I will post them in another blog, but for now you get the picture! Go and try to not to commit these sins ever again!